About Teens

Tweens and Teens are different than younger children. The parenting techniques you used during early childhood will not work. To parent them and work with them, it is important to understand where they are coming from.

About Preteen & Teen Development

Physical Development

Rapid growth spurts and changes in body shape/size
Onset of puberty (acne, body hair, menstruation, voice changes)
Increased need for sleep due to hormonal changes and growth
Awkwardness and self-consciousness about physical appearance

Emotional Development

Heightened sensitivity and mood swings
Increased need for independence and autonomy
Struggles with self-esteem and identity formation
Stronger and more complex emotional reactions

Cognitive Development

Development of abstract thinking and reasoning
Questioning of rules, beliefs, and adult authority
Beginning to form personal values and opinions
Improved problem-solving, but still prone to impulsivity

Social Development

Intense desire to fit in with peers and be accepted
Shifting relationships from family to friends
Peer pressure becomes more influential
Exploration of romantic relationships and dating

Moral Development

Developing a stronger sense of right and wrong
Grappling with fairness, justice, and ethical dilemmas
May challenge parental or societal values as part of identity-building

Sexual Development

Curiosity about sex, attraction, and gender identity
Experimentation and exploration (emotionally and physically)
Vulnerability to misinformation and peer influence
Need for honest, respectful, and age-appropriate conversations

How Teens View The World

"It’s all about me." – Teens tend to be egocentric, often seeing situations primarily through their own perspective.
"You don’t understand." – They may feel misunderstood by adults, believing their experiences are unique or no one has ever felt what they’re feeling.
"Now matters more than later." – The future feels far away; immediate rewards or consequences carry more weight than long-term outcomes.
"What will others think?" – Peer approval and social image become critical, often influencing behavior more than adult guidance.
"Rules should be questioned." – As their cognitive skills grow, teens start to challenge authority and evaluate fairness and logic in rules.
"I want to belong, but I want to be me." – They crave connection and acceptance but also strive to define their individual identity.